Purim 5773 at JTS Roundup Part 1…

Here are some things that happened at JTS’ Purim Se’udah, 5773:

viddui (prayer of “confession”) upon eating too much. The core of this was co-authored by Dr. Raysh Weiss and me.

Some Purim Torah that was shared.

A video of Vice Chancellor Marc Gary’s first day, by Ravid Tilles.

An alternative I Am JTS campaign, edited by Andrew Markowitz; directed by Paula Sass; and co-written by many folks including: Dr. Raysh Weiss, Paula Sass, Philip Gibbs, Daniel Novick and me.

Some texts below–BADLY FORMATTED:

 

Recited before the Confession; some recite the words in brackets:Our God and God of our ancestors, may our prayer come before you, and do not ignore our tahini, for we are not so hard-faced or so stick-necked so as to say before you, “Lord, our God and God of our fathers [and our mothers] [and our uncles] [and our aunts] [and the sons of our uncles] [and the daughters of our uncles] [and the sons of our aunts] [and the daughters of our aunts] [and our brothers] [and our sisters] [and our sons] [and our daughers] [and our brothers-in-law] [and our sisters-in-law] [and our fathers-in-law] [and our mothers-in-law] [and our nephews] [and our nieces] [and our grandfathers] [and our grandmothers] [and our grandsons] [and our granddaughters] [and our great-grandsons] [and our great-granddaughters] [and all of the House of Israel] [and all those who dwell on Earth] [and all those who dwell in outerspace], we are righteous men [and women], except for(we recall the names of relatives who are not righteous)      , who are completely evil, and we have not gotten fatter!” But we and our fathers [and so forth] have gotten fatter!

We now recite the Confession on the next page.

קוראים לפני הַוִּדּוּי; יש שאומרים את המילות בסוגריים:

אֱ-לֹהֵֽינוּ וֵא-לֹהֵי אֲבוֹתֵֽינוּ, תָּבֹא לְפָנֶֽיךָ תְּפִלָּתֵֽנוּ, וְאַל תִּתְעַלַּם מִתְּחִנָּתֵֽנוּ, שֶׁאֵין אָֽנוּ עַזֵּי פָנִים וּקְשֵׁי עֹֽרֶף, לוֹמַר לְפָנֶֽיךָ, “ה’ אֱ-לֹהֵֽינוּ וֵא-לֹהֵי אֲבוֹתֵֽינוּ [וְאִמּוֹתֵֽינוּ] [וְדוֹדֵֽינוּ] [וְדוֹדָתֵֽינוּ] [וּבְנֵי דּוֹדֵֽינוּ] [וּבְנוֹת דּוֹדֵֽינוּ] [וּבְנֵי דּוֹדוֹתֵֽינוּ] [וּבְנוֹת דּוֹדוֹתֵֽינוּ] [וְאָחֵֽינוּ] [וְאַחְיוֹתֵֽינוּ] [וּבָנֵֽינוּ] [וּבְנוֹתֵֽינוּ] [וְגִיסֵֽינוּ] [וְגִיסוֹתֵֽינוּ] [וּמְחֻתָּנֵֽינוּ] [וּמְחֻתְּנוֹתֵֽינוּ] [וְאַחְיוֹנֵֽינוּ] [וְאַחְיוֹנוֹתֵֽינוּ] [וְסַבֵּֽינוּ] [וְסַבּוֹתֵֽינוּ] [וּנְכָדֵֽינוּ] [וְנֶכְדוֹתֵֽינוּ] [וְנִינֵֽינוּ] [וְנִינוֹתֵֽינוּ] [וְכׇל־בֵּית־יִשְׂרָאֵל] [וְכׇל־יוֹשְׁבֵי תֵבֵל] [וְכׇל־יוֹשְׁבֵי חָלָל], צַדִּיקִים [וְצַדִּיקוֹת] אֲנַֽחְנוּ, מִחוּץ

לְ   (מזכירים את שמות הקרובים שאינם צדיקים)              אֲשֶׁר רְשָׁעִים [וּרְשָׁעוֹת] לְגַמְרֵי, וְלֹא שָׁמַֽנּוּ!” אֲבָל אֲנַֽחְנוּ וַאֲבוֹתֵֽינוּ [וְכוּלֵּהּ] שָׁמַֽנּוּ!

קוראים את הַוִּדּוּי בעמוד הבא:

 

 

 

 

Recited after the Confession:

We have turned astray from your goodly recipes and kitchens, but we have not found satisfaction inside us. You are more righteous than any cook among us. Though You have prepared a meal, we got fatter.

קוראים לְאַחַר הַוִּדּוּי:

סַֽרְנוּ מִמַּתְכּוֹנֶֽיךָ וּמִמִּטְבָּחֶֽיךָ הַטּוֹבִים, וְלֹא שָֽׂבַע־בָּֽנוּ. וְאַתָּה צַדִּיק עַל כׇּל־טַבָּח מִמֶּֽנּוּ, כִּי אֲרוּחָה עָשִֽׂיתָ, וַאֲנַֽחְנוּ שָׁמָנּֽוּ.

 

א We have eaten.בּ We have devoured.גּ We have swallowed.

דּ We have fished.

ה We have been flatulent.

ו We have given in.

ז We have summoned for Birkat Ha-Mazon [a very solemn prayer].

ח We have grabbed snacks.

ט We have tasted.

י We have scooped.

כּ We have cut.

ל We have licked.

מ We have poured.

נ We have washed our hands.

ס We have squeezed fruits.

ע We have digested.

פּ We have left crumbs.

צ We have skipped a fast day.

ק We have peeled.

ר We have poisoned our guests in order to eat them.

שׂ We have been satisfied.

תּ We have mixed liquids.

תּ We have spiced.

תּ We have had appetites. Turn to the first page.

 אA-HAHL-noo.בּ Ba-LAH-noo.גּGa-MAH-noo.

דּDAHG-noo.

הHif-LAHTZ-noo.

וVi-TAHR-noo.

זZi-MAH-noo.

חHa-TAHF-noo.

טTa-AHM-noo.

יYa-TZAHK-noo.

כּKe-RAHT-noo.

לLi-KAHK-noo.

מMa-ZAHG-noo.

נNa-TAHL-noo.

סSa- HAHT-noo.

עEe-KAHL-noo.

פּPo-RAHR-noo.

צTzome dee-LAHG-noo.

קKee-LAHF-noo.

רRey-AHL-noo ET o-reh-HEY-noo keh-DEY le-oh-LAHM.

שׂSa-VAH-noo.

תּTee-MAHD-noo.

תּTee-BAHL-noo.

תּ Ta-AHV-noo. Previous page.

אָכַֽלְנוּ.

בָּלַֽעְנוּ.

גָּמַֽעְנוּ..

דַּֽגְנוּ.

הִפְלַֽצְנוּ.

ִוִתַּֽרְנוּ.

זִמַּֽנּוּ.

חָטַֽפְנוּ.

טָעַֽמְנוּ.

יָצַֽקְנוּ.

כֵּרַֽתְנוּ.

לִקַּֽקְנוּ.

מָזַֽגְנוּ.

נָטַֽלְנוּ.

סָחַֽטְנוּ.

עִכַּֽלְנוּ.

פּוֹרַֽרְנוּ.

צוֹם דִּלַּֽגְנוּ.

קִלַּֽפְנוּ.

רֵעַֽלְנוּ אֶת־אוֹרְחֵֽינוּ כְּדֵי לְאׇכְלָם.

שָׂבַֽעְנוּ.

תִּמַּדְנוּ.

תִּבַּֽלְנוּ.

תָּאַֽבְנוּ. קוראים את הקטע האחרון בעמוד הקודם:

Chapter 1 Teaching 1 It once happened that Rabbi Tarfon lied down on the road to read the Shema. He saw a camel chasing after robbers, and his heart was at ease. The robbers diverted from his path while the camel remained and tread upon him. Shimon ben Azzai found him sitting on a street corner in pain, praying pleas of mercy for his wounds whilst emitting from his mouth songs of joy and praise. He asked, “Rabbi, what is with you?” He said, “The Holy Blessed One has saved and been gracious [gamal] to me.” He did not be- lieve him. He said, “My son, robbers did not kill me and did not steal from my property. Rather this camel, an emissary of the Holy Blessed One, has trampled me in order to chase them away. Until this day, I never knew the meaning of this verse, but now I have learned: ‘In your lovingkindness I have placed my trust. My heart rejoices in your salvation, for a camel [gamal] is upon me’ (Psalm 13:6).”2 From where do we learn to eat Gelidah (ice cream) in the morning? “To tell in the morning of your lovingkindness” (Psalm 92:3). The Divine attribute of Lovingkindness is also called Gedulah (greatness), as it is written, “For you, God, are the Gedulah, the grandeur, the beauty, the eternity, and the glory” (I Chronicles 29:11). But do not read “the Gedulah,” for it is a mixup of the letters of “Gelidah.” Therefore it is written, “The ancient ones would awaken early and eat ice cream at the moment of the first ray of sunlight” (unknown source). 3 Rabbi Akiva saw Rabbi Tarfon, and tefillin (phylacteries) were ap- parently in his mouth. Rabbi Akiva said to him, “Men do not eat the word of the Holy Blessed One, but women do, for it is written, ‘A Torah of Lovingkindness is upon her tongue’ (Proverbs 31:26).” He said to him, “But does it not say ‘And my Word that I have placed in [masculine] your mouth shall not leave [masculine] your mouth or from the mouth of your [male] offspring or from the mouth of the [male] offspring of your off- spring’ (Isaiah 59:21)?” There are 4 masculine re- ferences for Rabbi Tarfon, and 1 feminine refer- ence for Rabbi Akiva. Rav said, “There is no dis- agreement.” Rav Yehudah said in the name of Rav, “Women eat tefillin, and also men eat tefillin, for they are both equal in all mitzvot and holiness.”
פרק א דרש א מעשה ברבי טרפון שהטה לקרוא בדרך. ראה גמל רודף אחרי לסטים והניח לבו. לסטים חרגו מדרכו, ונשאר הגמל ודרס אותו. מצאו שמעון בן עזי יושב בקרנות בכאב ומתפלל תחנונים על מצוקותיו וגם מוציא מפיו שירי גילה ורינה. אמר רבי מה לך. אמר לו הצילני וגמלני הקב”ה. לא האמין בו. אמר בני לסטים לא הרגוני ולא גנבו מנכסיי אלא גמל זה מלאך הקב”ה שדרסני כדי לרדפם. עד היום הזה לא ידעתי מה פירושו אך עכשיו הבנתי: ואני בחסדך בטחתי יגל לבי בישועתך אשירה לה’ כי גמל עלי: ב מנין אכילת גלידה בבקר? להגיד בבקר חסדך. נמי ספירתא דחסדא אתקרית גדולה דכתיב לך ה’ הגדולה והגבורה והתפארת והנצח וההוד ואל תקרי הגדולה כי איהי שיבושא דאתי דגלידה. לפיכך כתיב השכימו הוותיקים ואכלו גלידה בשעת הנץ החמה: ג חזי ליה ר”ע וקיתב רבי טרפון ותפילי אתחזי בפומיה. אמר ליה ר”ע לא אכלי גברי למילתא דקב”ה אלא אכלן נשי דכתיב ותורת חסד על לשונה. א”ל הא דכתיב ודברי אשר שמתי בפיך לא ימושו מפיך ומפי זרעך ומפי זרע זרעך. ד’ דכרי לר”ט וחדא נוקבא לר”ע. אמר רב לית חילוקא. אמר רב יהודה א”ר אכלן נשי לתפילי ונמי אכלי גברי לתפילי כי תרוויהו בשוה בכל מצות ובקודשא:

 

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